Okay...I couldn't resist writing about my older cat, Scout. I've talked a little about her in other posts, and she's a constant source of joy and humor for me. I just adore her! And I tell her quite often that she's lucky I do, because she hasn't always been the easiest cat to love!
Scout is the ultimate 'queen' of her domain, and has taken a lot of moments throughout her life to remind me of this. It started from day one, when I went to the local humane society to choose a kitten. They had beautiful cats that would melt the hardest of hearts, but I really wanted a kitten...and one cage in particular caught my eye. Two little 4 month old beige kitties were inside of it, a furry little brother and sister. The brother was right up at the front of the cage, fluffy white cheeks the only thing distinguishing him from his sister...that, and the fact that he was meowing his little head off. "PICK ME, PICK ME!" he seemed to scream, as he started to climb the door. He was ADORABLE...and probably would have been a loving, cuddly, lap-sitting kitty. So of course, I had to choose the other one! Was this my first mistake?? I actually believe it was the first moment of a tenuous, claw filled love between a cat and her Mommy, that was destined to happen. At least I'd like to think so!
The soon-to-be-queen of my apartment was curled up into a tiny little beige ball at the back of the cage, peacefully sleeping away, oblivious to her brother's frantic meows. Oh, how PRECIOUS!! I thought to myself. And as I was only allowed one kitten where I lived, I had to choose which one to take home, although it broke my heart to separate them. If it wasn't for that rule, I would have adopted both kittens. I figured I should choose the quiet one...my landlord was an elderly woman, and I lived above her in her 2nd floor apartment. She might not appreciate a cat that meowed constantly, no matter how cute he was! And so I became the proud mom of a tiny beige short-haired female cat. The first indication that I was in for a loving, yet stressful relationship with this cat was when she started running after me (and anyone else she could reach,) biting my ankles whenever I walked around...at least when I had bare feet. In fact, she had a fascination with bare skin in general, and felt the need to sink her teeth into any flesh within biting distance. Sleeping became an art form! Scout slept by my feet every night, and Heaven help me if they got too hot...I would be jolted out of a deep sleep as she impaled my skin with those sharp little teeth! Did I mention I love her??
And so our relationship has continued, and Scout has dictated every moment of it. She has never been a lap sitter, and in fact has never allowed you to hold her for more than a few minutes at a time...after which she would growl, or even give you a little bite to tell you it was time to PUT HER DOWN! I also have mentioned before that Scout is disabled from a bad reaction to anesthesia when she was four years old...it effected her nervous system, and definitely slowed her down. But it certainly didn't stop her! She has become a prize winning adapter to her world, and has carried on all these years...a little shakier, but just as opinionated! Scout is 13 now, still very tiny (she never grew above 4 pounds,) and even shakier than in the past. She has adapted to her inability to walk properly by learning how to hop. I call her my little bunny rabbit, as she hops around the apartment. In her old age she has begun to ask me for food INCESSANTLY, and quite frankly drives me a little batty!! Anyone with food in their hands is easy prey, and if she can't physically get to you to scarf down whatever you're holding, she'll give you the stink eye from across the room. My sister barely got away with all her limbs intact when she was visiting over Thanksgiving, innocently trying to eat a piece of lasagna. Yes, Scout will eat lasagna. And peas. And asparagus. And marshmallows. And she would probably sell me to the gypsies for a lousy potato chip. I really could go on about this for hours!
But I digress. Let me finish instead with an embarrassing story that happened last week, on a shopping trip to Ocean State Job Lots with my mother. This store has great deals, and we were determined to walk through the entire store so we wouldn't miss anything. As an ever vigilant cat mommy I of course was looking for anything I could bring home to them...and in the past couple of years, Scout has developed an 'accident problem' and can't always make it to the litter box. (And sometimes she forgets the litter box exists, I think!) I found out through a friend that Walmart sells 'pee pads' that are meant for elderly and/or incontinent adults, sold in the adult diaper isle. I have never found these anywhere else, even in local pharmacies. Life has become a lot easier now that we have these...wherever Scout is sleeping, there's a pad under her just in case. I even considered taping one to her, but decided I wanted to keep my skin where it was! So while I was at OSJLots, I figured I should see if they had any. Now, I didn't want to just go up to a salesperson and ask if they had adult diapers...that seemed a little embarrassing. So I walked up to a woman who was stocking shelves. "Excuse me...I have an elderly cat who sometimes has accidents. I use pee pads that are actually made for people--they're usually found with adult diapers. Do you have adult diapers?" Okay, granted...maybe a little wordy, but you understood that, right? RIGHT?? Well, she didn't. Turning to a co-worker, she said "Mary, where are those puppy pee pads? I know we have those..." I interrupted, "No, not puppy pee pads...those are scented, so the puppy WANTS to go on them. I use pee pads that are meant for people, which are kept with the adult diapers. Do you have adult diapers??" (Seriously...how many times can you use the words 'adult' and 'diapers' in the same sentence? A LOT, apparently!)
So she turns to Mary again..."Don't we have doggie diapers, too? I think they're in the back by the pet food..." "No" I interrupt again, "Not doggie diapers. I don't want doggie diapers. I need pee pads meant for PEOPLE...near the ADULT DIAPERS. Do you HAVE adult diapers???" Then she decided to leave Mary out of this one, and said to me directly, "I think the puppy pee pads are in the middle of the store, and the puppy diapers are in the back..." (Really...what is the problem, here? Am I speaking GERMAN??) And what followed was another one of those moments where I was ever so SLIGHTLY lacking in grace..."NO!!!!! DO YOU HAVE ADULT DIAPERS???!!!!" I screamed. So much for escaping embarrassment. About 10 different people turned their heads to look at this crazy, frazzled woman who was screaming in desperation, about to have a MAJOR ACCIDENT if she didn't get some adult diapers, RIGHT NOW!!
And believe me...this is not the first, and most likely not the LAST time I will make a complete ass of myself in public, all because of this tiny little bundle of fur who rules my world. When the next moment arrives I will be sure to share that with you as well...after all, I have two bundles of fur at home. If Scout's not driving me crazy, my younger cat Shay makes sure to fill in the gaps. And why do I let this continue? Because I love them, of course, and don't really know how to stop their craziness...after all, I'm just here to open the cans!