There is something on the more serious side I want to write about, but I'm having trouble putting it into words...so I need to leave it for a while and focus on laughter instead. And maybe do some more of my deep breathing--that always helps put things into perspective! While I marinate on that other topic, let me tell you about a frustrating, completely ridiculous thing that happened to me a few days ago...I yelled and got stressed out, though once all of that passed I started to laugh at myself. I've found that laughing at frustrating situations can be very healing, and helps me keep my sanity. And now I do one better...I post the craziness which is my life, so other people can laugh and enjoy. It helps to have a blog--very cleansing!
So in the spirit of laughter (and cleansing,) let me tell you about that moment in my life...not an altogether significant moment, but just a blip in time. Though it felt a lot bigger than a blip when it occurred! I had gone shopping with my mother on Sunday to the grocery store, which is a weekly chore...one I wish I could do without! But alas, I was in need of simple everyday things such as bananas, yogurt and bread...which of course meant that when I came home, I had six full bags. Because you can never go to the grocery store and get just two or three things...your list tends to grow the further you walk. And I always think to myself Oh yeah...I need oatmeal! and by the time I get home, I've bought 15 items instead of two. You've all been there, I'm sure! And this story ties into my having CMT in an annoying, frustrating kind of way...as many of my stories tend to do! I've mentioned having hand issues in past posts, including loss of function and numbness. Well, because of these issues everyday tasks have become more difficult and can often lead to proud, graceful moments like this one! First of all, let me just say that I forgot my New Year's resolution to ask for and accept help from others. My mother, sweet and gracious like always, offered to assist me into my apartment with my load of groceries before I brought her home...so of course I said "No, that's okay!" (I know...what's WRONG with me??) and I dropped her off first. And since it was slushy and slippery out, I figured I should condense the trip from the car to my apartment down to one, if at all possible. I got out, opened my trunk and saw all the groceries...and brilliantly decided to carry three bags on each arm. So I loaded up, but soon figured out I couldn't lift either arm to close my trunk. The next 10 minutes became an on-going struggle to shake the bags off my arms to do something (like close my trunk,) then attempting to stuff my arms back into the bag handles, only to have to start all over again...to lock my car, to climb over the snow, to step up onto the snowy curb. By the time I was making my way to the front door of my apartment the handles were cutting off all circulation, and I was waddling like an Oompa Loompa because the groceries were getting HEAVIER!
Though finally I was coming to the finish line. I stood at the door, mumbling not-so-nice things under my breath, ready to go inside and put this nightmare to rest. I think that's when I realized I couldn't lift my arms to unlock the door, and proceed to flap again like a mad woman trying to dislodge the bags...but they just wouldn't come off no matter how hard I shook. C'MON ALREADY!!! I started yelling, completely out of patience at this point...and then I dropped my keys. CRAP!!!! Now I'm hunched over in the dark, feeling around for them in the snow. AH-HAH!!! I yelled out as I found them, and at the same moment the bags fell off my arms with a resounding thud. Finally!! I stood up to unlock my door, and proceeded to BANG the back of my head on the door handle. You'll forgive me if I don't write what I yelled after that happened...let's just say my vocabulary is bigger than I thought!
So I am on the lookout, for stiff, easy to carry bags with even stiffer handles (with wide openings,) that will stand up on their own...so I can pick them up and put them back down again, no fuss--no muss. If you happen to be out and about and see anything like this, let me know--I will buy them by the truckload. It will certainly make grocery shopping easier! I have searched for such a thing on different websites, including a site that my hand therapist gave me, which sells adaptive equipment for occupational and physical needs...if you are a reader that needs assistance with daily tasks because of physical issues, you might find this site helpful. It is http://www.activeforever.com/. Another one you could try is http://www.ncmedical.com/. Both are very helpful sites, and if I can't find the type of bags I am looking for when I'm out shopping, I have found some other options. Or I may just have to invent the bags myself! In the meantime I will try harder to stick to my resolution for 2011, because obviously I have a long way to go!
Just remember your resolution - it doesn't hurt to ask for help (I do it all the time!). Another good one.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid to ask for help. But I know how difficult it is sometimes. I still try to pretend there is nothing wrong with me and I can do it myself, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep searching for those bags, but better yet, you could start your own company making them yourself. I'll help. No need to ask!
Asking for help and then actually accepting it... these are among the hardest things to do!
ReplyDeleteOh I know that whole "I can do it in one trip thing!" You have however brought it to great heights here! I am sorry - it does sound rather slapstick, just as if you were going to script it for a movie.
It is life though! But thank God, you can laugh and reflect!