Wednesday, December 29, 2010

This Year's Resolution

Have you ever had those moments where you wonder What was I thinking??  As you look back at the choices you've made during the monumental situations in your life (such as choosing a new car, saying "Yes!" to that second date, eating the yogurt that's past its expiration...okay, maybe that one isn't so monumental...) sometimes you look back at these memorable situations and praise yourself for your quick wit and unwavering sensibilities.  Aaaannnd...sometimes you DON'T!  I've learned that it's usually the mistakes we make that teach us the biggest lessons, and these lessons will continue to guide us through many situations to come.  I can honestly say that I will continue buying Honda CRV's (if at all possible,) and I will not hesitate in saying "No!!" to any expired yogurt in the future.  There are just some roads I no longer need to travel!

But what about those moments where you make silly mistakes?  Such as going to the grocery store intending to get corn pads because you so DESPERATELY need them...and coming home with10 items, none of which are corn pad related?  Or attempting to complete a simple task that you've probably done a thousand times, and all of a sudden you screw it up and have to start all over again?  It's times like these when I start to wonder about my brain, and if  I've just come to the point where it's no longer functioning properly.  Which scares me, because I think that if my elderly cat Scout has gone past that point,and my own brain stops working...who will open the cans??  Well, when I mentioned the Cakewrecks blog in my last post and how you can give as little as $1.00 to 12 different charities during the holiday season, I said that the chance to give continues until August 2011.  I still think that must be true, because why would I have come up with that on my own?  Though when I was looking back through their site today I cannot find where that was said...and I searched for that sentence!!  If any of my readers out there check out Cakewrecks and happen to read that information, please contact me and let me know because it's driving me a little batty.  It will assure me that I haven't completely lost my mind, and that the yogurt didn't do any permanent damage!

Anyway--as I was saying about lessons, before my brain took a detour...I have learned over the years that I really hate asking for help.  Well, not so much when it involves my failing mind (obviously,) but more when it involves something I cannot physically do on my own.  I have learned to adapt how I do things on a daily basis, in living with a disability...because I have no choice.  Though there's a difference between adapting how I do something (still completing the task on my own,) and ADMITTING to myself that I cannot do the task at all.  Even though I'm 39 years old and have lived with CMT since I was a teenager, I still have not gotten used to the whole admitting thing!  I'm really bad at that--and even though I will honestly tell someone what I can and cannot do if they ask me, a task will come along that's too difficult...and once again I will attempt it.  Often hurting myself in the process!  I've tried to figure out why I have such a problem asking for help when I physically need it, wondering where that all started.  It may stem from childhood gym class, and being yelled at for not being able to complete ANY of the physical tasks set before me...or it may be my strong, Irish roots keeping me from EVER giving up.  Or it may just be that I'm stubborn! 

So in the spirit of the New Year, I've decided that I'm going to do my best and ask for help when I need it...and admit to myself when a task is beyond my physical capabilities.  I will most likely fail miserably at first (as I have been a stubborn Irishwoman for a while now,) but I am going to try.  Though if my brain IS failing, I may forget all about this in 2011..thank goodness I have this post to remind me!  And hopefully I will learn something from my past mistakes, so I won't try and shovel my car out from under mountains of snow all by myself.  This, of course, will take effect during any snowstorms that may occur in 2011...this past storm doesn't count against my resolution, since it TECHNICALLY didn't happen in the New Year.  Told you I was stubborn!! 


  1. Eating yogurt past its freshness date ...THAT shows your frugel Irish roots :>)
    On your subject of attempting things and failing, I must say for all the time I've known you, I've never seen you fail at anything !
    You must be attempting these impossable feats late at night at home .... with the cats locked in the other room , not to see !
    Seriously, I believe we all dislike to fail at any attempt, it's as though we don't measure up in our own eyes . But accepting help from someone is allowing them to gift you something, and that's the way you must look at it.I was taught that by " K " in your very own office !
    You know of my limitations, and it took me some time to accept the " gift " of help from others.... you were one of the first, and remain so .
    I think of the smile that comes to my face as I shop, and feel a light tug at by jacket. I turn to find a short elder women of about 5', maybe in her 70's, and she say; " Excuse me sonny,you're so tall, could you reach to that shelf and get me a box of those Lorna Doones ? "
    What a joy to have been able to assist such a sweet person, and at 61..... be called sonny !
    My point Dear Friend, is to never think of needing help as a flaw, or a disability, but rather a chance for someone to gift you a moment of their time, and allow them to cross your path, see you ever present smile, and feel good about themselfs !
    Have a most Wonderfull New Year.......
    See you very soon .....

  2. Christine, I agree w/you (not about the yogurt).
    My resolution for 2011...I'm going to be a little kinder to myself and accept what I used to do and what I now cannot do..

  3. Christine, I love the way you express yourself, so refreshing and honest. This is a great post.

    It is so hard to change - it really is, even when we truly want to! And to ask for and accept help, well that is really hard!! And mostly I do not want to do that!!

    As for the yogurt... how far past the expiration date? I've been known to push some limits on that particular act!

    Happy New Year Christine!

  4. Christine, I understand sometimes It's difficult to admit we need help, even with seemingly simple tasks, but I've found most people are delighted to help when asked. (Except for husbands when asked to take out the garbage.)

    In the past, I've been too embarrassed to tell the grocery store cashier that I need help lifting the heavier bags into my car. At first, I thought they looked at me wondering, What's her problem? thinking maybe I was just lazy, since I don't quite look like a little old lady in need of help.

    But as soon as I mention I have a neuromuscular disorder, they become very accommodating and pleasantly helpful.

    Pretty brave with the yougurt. I wouldn't try that with milk though.